Bad Time

Well, who would have guessed what would be happening now in one's life; sometimes i reflect that its a bit like a movie, where things play out in a surreal atmosphere as they're happening to some one else and that as soon as i wake up it'll be back to the way it was before everything started.

Quite cryptic? That's deliberate, partly because i dont want my laundry publicly viewed as it's been stressful enough without it being used against me. But remembering the blog is a sounding board, and may be useful for someone going through similar experiences; here goes.

After 16 years of marriage I have concluded it is better to separate. Several things have helped me conclude this, one of whom is the new love of my life but NOT the cause of the breakup. The marriage was broken long before that time, possibly for two or more years before. This fact had been confirmed independently by several close friends of both of us who, when informed of our inpending separation, had said things such as "they weren't surprised" and "had noticed stuff going on". Pity it took me such a long time to see the same.

Now, of course, we have the messy affair of divorce and separating everything in our lives. Of course the easy answer is to blame the other woman, however for me the other woman is not relevant in the decision. It is of course easy to say that having any affair is wrong and the reason for breaking up; but in this unique situation it isn't and for me (easy to say) is the only thing keeping me sane and on the rails.

So, with impending legal costs, house removal and stress regarding bad feelings, I can honestly say I am not looking forward to christmas this year.